1) Sensual Dancing: I know what you’re thinking…’Jonesie, I am not messing up my genuine hardwood floors by splashing water on myself while hanging onto a chair!’ Alright, I totally get that but listen I am not telling you that you have to re-enact this particular scene from one of my fave all time dance flicks ever ‘Flashdance’, but would your man really be mad if you did? When you throw on something sexy (or be a total sex goddess-vixen and go nude) and start dancing like you own the place-which you probably do, or maybe you rent like me, either way, you’re a goddess-he will be left speechless.
Well, let’s talk strategy then shall we. To put yourself in the right frame of mind I suggest practicing alone or take it up a notch and attend a dance class which can also be fun! Grab a girlfriend or go it alone and let your inner sex goddess come through…I know she is in there. Put on that dress that makes you feel insanely sexy, or panty set that you payed way to much for, grab your man/woman by the hand, sit them down and give ’em a show.
Why not? Don’t worry about looking perfect, because you are gorgeous and honestly honey, you being “on beat” is not the point of this exercise. It’s not about sliding up and down a pole and spinning on your head-although if you can do that, I for one would like to take lessons from your limber ass-it’s about exuding your sensuality in a fun and new way.
2) Blindfolds: Having five senses is pretty awesome. I mean we touch, feel, hear, taste and see everything, which is fabulous when it comes to sex, right? Well, when you take one of those senses away, every other sense is heightened. Blindfolding your partner is a crazy sexy…ummm…hello see the above pic of JLo, her abs and that blindfold! Now, do we all have JLo abs and a young tenderoni to put a blindfold on us? No. And guess what…we don’t need six-pack abs, and a young tenderloin to experience this heightened state of awareness. All you need is a tie, scarf, or blindfold purchased from a store. Trust me when I say your partner will not object to this act…at all.
Just in case there is any apprehension, then you should talk about why they’re such a damn square and maybe you need to dump them. Alright, that was harsh. They’re not squares and you shouldn’t leave them. Just talk about any misgivings your partner may have. Another way of easing any fear they may have is by talking them through everything you are doing while you’re doing it. Also, grab their hands and let them feel their way about you. Again, their four other senses are super sensitive right now and the sound of your voice, and being able to touch you without seeing you will literally drive them crazy.
3) Restraints: Grab a scarf, tie, rope…you should have one available anyway from night two, and use it to restrain your partner. Easy, right? Wait, before you tie your partner up, have a discussion about boundaries. Just like with Blindfolding, restraints can also make you or your partner nervous, as it means you are relinquishing control to someone. Restraints are often used to magnify the intensity of sensations you feel with your partner, which is seriously a win-win for everyone, am I right? Of course I’m right, which is why you’re nodding your head and looking around your room right now for something to tie your boo up with.
4) Watch & Learn: This can either mean watching adult videos, making a video of yourselves, or pleasuring yourself while your partner observes. Let’s tackle these options: watching adult videos can be very helpful if you or your partner are interested in attempting moves you’ve heard of, but may not know how to master just yet, and need a quick tutorial. Where this can be tricky is if there are moves your partner wants to try, but you are totally not into. We all know the men/women in these movies are entertaining people, so we can’t expect our partners to perform like them, or automatically be “down for whatever” a’la the video star. Also, everyone is not into adult videos and that is okay because you have two other options yo!
5) Role Play: How sexy was Eartha Kitt as Catwoman, right? Who wouldn’t want to be her?! Role play is fun, sexy, and can lower your inhibitions, which will allow you to enjoy your night of fun with your partner even more. At first you may feel a bit silly dressed up on a Tuesday night, after work, in the middle of July, but think of all of the amazing fun you can have with this! You can fulfill your partners fantasies and vice-versa not only through costume, but through taking on a totally different persona and running with it. Role Play can also be taken out of the bedroom…head over to a bar or restaurant, and “pick-up” your significant other. Listen, we all love a good fireman, or cheerleader fantasy, so just roll with it!
6) Romance: Romance is not dead, so please do not go there…it is alive and something that must always be worked on in a relationship. Remember when you would text your significant other in the middle of the day, make them their favorite dinner, throw on that sexy lingerie, take showers together, light candles, massage each other? Or maybe you have literally never experienced the type of romance you deserve…well, dammit its time to change that!
Play some music, light some candles, run a bath, and put your cell phones away. Seriously, turn those things off and if you’re too addicted to your phones to turn them off, at least put them on vibrate, and keep it rollin’. Focus, only on each other, look at each other in the eyes and really connect with your partner on a deeper, spiritual level.
In relationships, this type of effort seems to fade easily, but is always expected. You cannot receive what you do not put out. Your man is not a mind reader and if you feel he is never romantic or doesn’t try, then stop for a moment and think about the last time you set up a romantic night/gesture for him. So, draw a bath, throw on something sexy, play some music, light some candles…and have fun. Thank me later.
Share your comments and stories below.
Did you try any of these tips and how did your night turn out?
Thanks For Reading!
pics courtesy of: asos