8 Years Single, 8 Lessons Learned

8 Years Single

This May marked my eigth year of living on single girl lane. That’s the exit right off the I’m good on my own highway. In these eight years I have grown tremendously and learned a few lessons about myself, love and the opposite sex. So, without further ado…let’s get to this list. 8 Years Single, 8 Lessons Learned:

1) Speak Up: I can never figure out if someone likes me. Seriously, unless someone literally comes out and says, “Jonesie, I like you.” I never assume that they do. A guy could be blatantly flirting and I will mindlessly stare at him like he is a killer clown from outer space, and I am petrified with fear. Please for the love of all things holy just tell him/her how you feel! If they reciprocate your feelings, then mission accomplished. If they don’t, then it’s their loss. At least you released your emotions instead of bottling them up inside. Be a boss, and speak up for what you want. Whether it’s in a relationship, work issue or business matter.

2) Live Alone: Living on your own, in my opinion, is a must for everyone…especially women. Knowing that I can kill all the spiders in my apartment by my damn self makes me feel badass. Also, I’ve learned how to be okay with being on my own. I have my own set of tools, can carry an insane amount of groceries up a flight of stairs, put together an IKEA item, fix my toilet and finish an entire pizza all by myself. Goals yo.

3) Learn Your Money: Where is your money going every month? How much are you spending? How much are you saving? What are your plans for your money? These are all lessons I have learned on my own the hard way. Like, the extra hard, unnecessarily, what the hell were you thinking kind of ways.

My mom was perfect with her money. She made great money at her job, saved, paid bills on time, budgeted the spending for her and my dad, basically everything. My mom was a money wizard, and thankfully she taught me how to be as well. I still made mistakes that were dumb, and some of them necessary because it taught me how to “learn my money”.

For me, depending on someone else financially is not an option, but if that is for you and you are happy living your life that way I am not judging you. Even if you are, you still need to learn your money. Know how to budget, where your money is headed every month, and if there are costs that need to be cut. Money is the number one reason for discord in relationships, so you want to enter into one fully aware of your financial situations, and have a plan just incase of a financial emergency. Continue reading

Failure & Success: Letting Go of Fear

letting go of fear

As a weirdo kid, I was obsessed with horror films. My mom and I would bond over our shared love of horror and fright fest. My mom introduced me to the horror genre at a young age, and I fell in love. There was this movie I thought was ridiculous, ‘Killer Clowns from Outer Space’ but I watched it anyway. After all, by junior high, I’d become a pro at watching and living through horror films without fear. No monster had ever gotten me, and Freddy Krueger wasn’t slashing through my pillows, so why not watch this b-movie and laugh right? Wrong.

I’m not sure if it was the fact that clowns are inherently creepy (don’t fight me on this because they are), or that I watched it alone,  or maybe even the thought that on some level alien clowns with sharp teeth really were going to come down from the sky and kill me, but this movie scared the sh*t out of me. Anyway, I watched it and re-watched it one million times, and to this day, I am still creeped out by clowns. Like, when I see one, I naturally want to kick him in the balls and run away. There are so many things we have conditioned ourselves to fear in life, and although I could probably write an entire dissertation on my very rational fear of clowns, this post is about the fear we have such a hard time letting go of; the fear of Failure and Success.

Trying to succeed as a writer/actor/producer in LA is unbelievably hard. Everyday, I am rejected, ignored, passed over and left wondering why the hell I even chose this route in life. The talent is God given, and  while I know it’s there, getting the right people to notice me is difficult. Outside of submitting headshots, creating my own content, struggling to get auditions, and watching less qualified people succeed based on who they know or how they look, there are also one gazillion women trying to land in the same sweet spot as I am…and that is daunting. Continue reading