Why I Choose to Live My Life Childfree for Now

 Kids are amazing…the way they see the world, the way they learn, their smiles and laughter melt my heart. I have spent years teaching and babysitting kids, but yet the desire to have one of my own has never surfaced in my psyche. As a young girl we are taught through fairytale stories, television shows, movies etc. that you grow up, get married, and become a mom. Many women feel the essence of becoming a woman is being able to give birth to a child. And, some of us for now or forever, choose to live our lives childfree.

I like shoes, I like to buy them, wear them, and match them up with my moods and outfits. I love to travel, eat out, and get up and go whenever I want. I love to spend my money how I please, spend time with my family and friends, and I love kids, but…here is the kicker…I do not want to have any. I am 32yrs old and have no inkling whatsoever to have a baby. The funny thing is people either do not believe me, tell me I just haven’t found the right person, or think I do not like kids.
Having a child is-from what I’ve seen, and been told-an amazing, painful, exhilarating, loving, heartfelt and challenging moment in a woman’s life that she will literally never forget. Well you know what moments I will never forget? The time I was in Nordstroms and bought my first pair of James Frye boots on sale for $300! Now most people would say I was crazy to compare my shoe buying experiences to having a child, but that moment is a moment I will never forget. And that moment makes me happy.

Since when did loving yourself, and your life the way it is, and with what you already have become such a bad thing? Why can’t I choose to live a life independent of children and fill it with the many other options out there for a woman today. Do those options include shoe buying? Well, yes.

They also include traveling…I’ve been to Jamaica three times, Hawaii, on a cruise with my friend, and am planning a month in Europe. None of these options would-for me at least-be available if I had a child. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a child, and that option suits most women just fine, but that option is not for me.

I love my independent lifestyle and do not want that to ever end. Being a mother is a difficult job that I do not want to take on just yet, and instead of women being looked down upon for choosing that option, we should be applauded for not bringing children into the world that we don’t want. I love my nieces and nephews and have been an integral part in raising them, and am so excited for my best friend to have her baby that I sit on my computer at work and text her baby names. 

Holding a baby feels great, but so does giving that baby back to its mother. No four am crying fits, or diaper changing for me. I’d rather save my money and purchase my own baby: my career, a nice new pair of shoes, or an airplane ticket. There are so many amazing, happy, successful and fufilled women who do not have babies and seem to be doing very well. Oprah Winfrey and Gloria Steinam to name a few are two of my role-models along with many other women who are mothers.

Today I watched (for the thousandth time) the episode of Sex and the City where Carrie’s $485 Manolo Blahnik shoes were stolen from her friends party and when she confronted her about it, her friend refused to pay for the shoes, because she had kids and felt that Carrie decided to have an extravagant lifestyle filled with expensive shoes-not children-and that was not okay with her. Carrie is filled with shame by her firends words and judgement of her. Feeling as though she is being punished for choosing to live her life the way she wants, which did not include children.

 As for now I do not feel as though my life is missing anything because I do not have a child, or a husband. Maybe there will be a man who comes into my life who will want a child and at that time I will have to re-evaluate my wants, and needs, but for now I am happy. Starting my own business, writing my blog, working at my job (which is a job with children by the way), spending time with my family and friends truly makes me happy.

“I have not lived as a woman. I have lived as a man. I’ve just done what I damn well wanted to, and I’ve made enough money to support myself, and ain’t afraid of being alone.”
~Katharine Hepburn

Twitter: @awkwardgirlla
Instagram: @toliveanddateinla

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