What’s that? You think I’m a slut? Oh, okay I thought you were insulting me, because calling me a “Slut” does not in any way make me feel bad about my choices in life. Women and girls have been called sluts for centuries, and mainly by other women. Slut and all of its variations: whore, tramp, and ho just to name a few is the go to reference when putting a woman or girl down for her behavior, clothes or attitude. In the eighth grade there were a group of girls who hated me and started rumors about me being a slut. The same thing happened in high school from a group of girls who decided they hated me as well. Slut-shaming is bullying behavior that we have all either been on the receiving end of, or dished out.
So what constitutes “slutty behavior”? Sleeping with multiple partners, sleeping with a married man, being a prostitute or stripper, making a sex tape, or just being overtly sexual? During the 1920’s the era of the Flapper was born and women rebelled against the rules of society in which they had to completely cover themselves, have long flowing hair, ample busts and not display their sexual prowess in public. Flappers cut their hair, drank in public, partied, wore short skirts and used their sexual wilds in any way they chose to. They were often referred to as sluts. In 1957 the birth control pill was approved by the FDA, but not for contraception use, only for severe menstrual issues, and was only used in secret up until the 70’s as women who used them were often referred to as sluts.
Why are all strippers considered sluts? When you’re at a bar or club with your friends and see a woman dancing provocatively or wearing a tight/short dress, why is she automatically put in the slut zone? How does one end up in the ‘Slut Zone’ anyway? I’ve been put in there by mean girls, I’ve put women there by judging their behavior or how many people they’ve dated. Let’s just scroll down a list of women who are popular for being classified as sluts, and basically live in the slut zone shall we:
1) Elizabeth Taylor had eight husbands…she resides in the slut zone.
2) Kim Kardashian made a sex tape with her boyfriend and leveraged it into a successful career of literally doing nothing but being herself, has dated a few men before settling down, and she lives in the slut zone.
3) Marilyn Monroe used not only her talent but her insane figure and inherent sex appeal to become a star, and again dated and married a few men along the way…she is in the slut zone.
4) Gabrielle Union dated NBA start Dwayne Wade soon after his divorce and continuously for the past seven years, which culminated in their engagement…she lives in the slut zone too.
5) Rhianna dresses provacatively, sings about sex and partying…slut zone.
6) Madonna made a career from shocking us all with her overtly sexual behavior which has been emulated by pop starts such as Britney, Miley, etc…again, all of them reside in the slut zone.
7) That woman at church who is single and wears tight dresses with high heels every Sunday in church…yup, she also lives in the slut zone.
8) Angelina Jolie “stole” Jennifer Aniston’s husband away from her, gave him kids and they’ve been in a monogamous relationship ever since, but…you guessed it, she hails from the slut zone as well.
9) Those girls at the mall, walking around in short shorts, mini-skirts and crop tops…they always reside in the slut zone.
10) The young girl or teen who everyone at school hates, or who is really pretty and all of the boys like, or had a child at a young age…she stays in the slut zone.
Slut-shaming is not only immature and insecure behavior, but it is literally putting a woman down for…being a woman. When women report being raped they are almost always asked had they been drinking, what they were wearing or if they provoked their attacker. I recently watched an episode of Dr. Phil, and there was an 11 year old girl who gotten pregnant by her 13 year old boyfriend.
Yes…that was the topic of the show. During the show this child (the girl) was vilified by her mom, dad, the boys parents, and by Dr. Phil. They literally spent the entire hour of the show slut-shaming her and saying that what happened was her fault because she was so “aggressive with boys” and “peer pressured” him into having sex with her. Really? An 11 year old child peer pressured her 13 year old boyfriend into having sex with her, is overly aggressive, out of control and caused herself to become pregnant? That’s right, it’s all her fault…her and her slutty ways.
Now I know when we see pop stars parading around half naked and with a different boyfriend on display every few months or so, our natural inclination is to judge them, or see their behavior as…well…slutty. In my twenties I had a lot of fun, like, a lot of fun. I partied a lot, went out with my friends wearing the shortest skirts and highest heels, met guys, dated some, made out with a few, and gasp, even slept with some.
Here’s the thing, my behavior was not followed by TMZ and Access Hollywood. There weren’t any cover shots of me in my low-cut top and favorite black mini-skirt on US Weekly, and no entertainment “reporters” counting the amount of dates I’d gone on, boyfriends I had, or bad break-ups. I’m guessing that was the case for you too.
The slut-shaming of women in the media is constantly perpetuated by those that buy into it. I have uttered many a words about Kim Kardashian and her “slutty” ways, and have judged other women as well. When we are fed societal rules about what constitutes good and bad behavior we force those rules upon others, mainly out of our own insecurities/jealousy.
Can we please put an end to this and stop judging each other based on our outfits, Instagram pics, or number of boyfriends? Unless someones behavior is causing them actual physical or mental harm, then let’s keep our opinions and women bashing aka slut-shaming views to ourselves…no I take that back, let us all just eradicate them from our psyche, and focus on more important things.
Have you been a victim of slut-shaming?
Have you slut-shamed a woman or girl?
Sound off below and thanks for reading!
0 thoughts on “Stop Calling Women Sluts”
Thank you for writing this. I think we need more of that 1920's attitude. The word slut does seem to be uttered by women more than men, at least in my experience. Sexual health and expression should be valued and talked about, not shunned– I think that's when people get hurt. They don't feel comfortable talking or showing it, they make choices that they feel the need to hide and they don't have resources or help if things go wrong (disease occur, unplanned pregnancies, unhealthy relationships).
That being said… It's all about the person's motivation. I do believe that, too. Sleep with who you want because you want to.Or because it's your vocation. I do think it's harmful to use sexual attitude and behavior if you are trying to hurt or gain things from other people in a very 'cloak and dagger' manner. That would be my caveat as to non-judgment. Great post!
Thanks for reading and commenting! As far as a caveat to non-judgement, we'll have to agree to disagree somewhat. As I stated in my post, I feel judgement altogether needs to stop. What we feel is negative/bad behaviour is based on our personal beliefs. What you may find secretive/a way to gain what you want using sex…may not hold the same meaning for someone else. As I stated in the post, unless someone is physically/emotionally damaging another person, I don't see a reason to try and judge.
We all want to stop judging, but the truth is unless we are friends with the girl wearing the tight dress or ARE the girl wearing the tight dress, we all automatically think she is a “slut.” What need to change is the way we take the word slut, which is why I loved the image you posted. When I was in high school, I was deemed a slut because I was blonde, had fair skin and an American mother. Ironically, I am one of the only high school senior who left for college still a virgin, but I was still in the slut zone. It never bothered me, and I am sure being called names has never bothered Madonna, Rihana etc … The inside is all that counts.
Sara thanks for reading! Yes our perception that we perpetuate has to change. Unfortunately we have all been placed in the “slut zone” at some point in our lives, and more so as teens, and this can have damaging affects on a young woman's self-esteem. Glad you were able to overcome it.