3 Lessons Learned from 2 Years of Celibacy


I am currently passing year two of being celibate. Yes, okay, it’s been two years…you read that right. Here’s the thing, I did not deliberately choose to be celibate, the celibate life chose me! To be perfectly honest, I would love to meet someone amazing enough to break this non-self-imposed celibacy life. We have all made the mistake of equating sex with love right? Think about it, how many stories have we all listened to our girlfriends tell about that guy they went on a few dates with, had sex with, and who quickly and awkwardly moonwalks his way out of their life.

Sex is a huge factor in relationships and most times we end up having sex with people we are not in committed relationships with. I am not passing judgement whatsoever for those who do…I am explaining why I have taken that option off of the table for the past two years. For me, I want to take the time to get to know someone without the complications of sex clouding my judgement.

Often we have sex with a man in the very early stages of dating, whether it be the first or fifth date. Waiting is not about testing him to see how patient he will be. It’s about getting to know someone for who they truly are, and deciding if this is a person I want to be in an exclusive relationship with. Also, if they are deserving of having such an important piece of our body, heart and soul. Being celibate has taught me three important lessons about myself: Continue reading

How To Talk To Your Partner About Their Sex History

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Did you know you can buy condoms at the 99 cent store? Did you know there are condoms for males and females to wear? Did you know you can order them online? Did you know that condoms are the number one way to effectively protect you and your partner during a sexual encounter from STD’s including AIDS and HIV? So, if you are nodding your head and saying, yes, yes, I already know all of this…I have one question for you: “Why the hell are you not consistently using condoms with your partners?!!!”

A man in Missouri was recently arrested and charged with purposely infecting people with HIV. He was aware of his status and upon learning of it, slept with-according to him-over 300 people without the use of a condom, and without disclosing his HIV status. He is an unassuming guy who worked at the local grocery store in a small town that would probably never even catch your attention as being an HIV infected man purposely giving it to others. Knowingly having unprotected sex while HIV positive is a crime and happens more times then you know. Does this scare you because I hope it does.

There are so many reasons why this story angers me, but the main reason is that this man did not rape or force anyone to have unprotected sex with him. All of his partners were willing participants, and are now in danger of carrying and having passed on a potentially deadly disease to others as well. My anger is strong…my anger is overwhelmingly abundant when I read these stories because all it would have taken was one person to ask, “Do you know your status?” or “Let’s go get tested together.” I know this is not always an easy step to take…trust me, I’ve been there, but it is a life-changing/saving necessity.

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