Why is there so much pressure to be in a relationship during the holidays? Around the holidays you will almost always receive the, “When are you going to settle down?” and “When are you going to have a baby?” questions. I blame the weather. I blame the media. I blame Christmas. I blame New Year’s Eve, and I blame my uterus. Yes…I said my uterus. In LA we have no snow and it barely rains. As soon as those temperatures drop just a wee bit the thirstiness of being alone suddenly seems to surface in everyone. All of a sudden everyone on my Twitter, Facebook and Instagram feeds are posting about finding love and cuddle weather. During the summer it was all, “Shots, shots, shots!”, dancing and partying and clubbing, but as soon as the weather changed so did everyone’s outlook on love.
It has been scientifically proven that the weather does effect our moods and there is an actual disorder associated with the seasons; SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) a depressive disorder in which a persons depressive state is connected to specific seasons. Also the “Winter blues” can make us feel sad, needy, lonely or make you feel as though you need someone to fill the emptiness you are experiencing. Cold weather makes us want to snuggle I get it, but there is a huge difference between being lonely and spending time alone.
Instead of focusing on not having someone to cuddle with during the cold, use this time to focus on your needs or the needs of those around you. Pick up extra work hours and make that money to pay off a bill. Donate time to charity, create a vision board, learn how to cook, or hell, fly your sad ass to Jamaica and find some happiness. Whatever you choose just know that he/she will come along when YOU are fulfilled within yourself, then the universe will casually bring you your cuddle buddy.
Christmas commercials can make you feel like a lonely loser, or am I the only person in the world who feels that way? Why is everyone getting engaged for goodness sakes?! Does every guy have to, “Go to Jared’s” every friggin’ December, or can they just roll out to Target and buy me a new vacuum cleaner and some t-shirts? Why in sam hill tarnation do we all have to get engaged for Christmas? Can we really just put an end to this, and when did me being so awesome that you want to marry me become an equivalent with giving me a gift for Christmas?
Marriage can be awesome, and who the hell doesn’t like sparkly diamonds, right? As for me I’d really love a new vacuum, some t-shirts, and a Barnes & Noble gift card with a never ending balance because books for me are like gold. And although I am single and in all likelihood will be purchasing these things for myself…if you’re reading this and want to send gifts I’ll take them…joking, but serious.
New Year’s Eve can really make or break the new year for some of us. I have only had one new Year’s Eve date which was my ex, who we all know treated me like crap and was a douchebag, but I digress. We went to dinner and that was it. No fan fair, no midnight toast, no ball gown and tux, just dinner and a visit to my parents house where he proceeded to sit on their computer and play games. Damn…that is so pathetic that I actually feel like a loser typing that out for you guys. Anyway, I understand the need to want to start the new year off with someone special, and according to what “they” say (who are they anyway) whoever you start the year off with is who you will end the year with. That may or may not work in your favor.
I always pictured my New Year’s Eve date like an overly romantic Kate Hudson romantic comedy; I meet a sexy, tall, creative type with a scruffy beard-of course-at the bookstore. We just happen to reach for the same book and instantly fall in love. It also just so happens to be the day before new years and he asks me out. I purchase an outrageously beautiful ball gown, and he’s wearing a tux. He picks me up and mouths, “Wow!” as I open the door, takes my hand and we slow dance to Sade. As the NYE countdown begins he takes me into his arms and kisses me, then glitter falls from the sky, a unicorn rides in on a rainbow picks us up, and we ride into outer space.
Life is never going to be like a Hollywood movie-although I will fight you to the death about unicorns-so who cares if you don’t have a date! Grab your friends and throw a party, play your favorite songs, and not pay $200 for a minuscule table at the same club you’ve never had to pay a fee to get into before. You make your life what you want it to be so make it fun and if you have a date don’t put too much pressure on the night being perfect…perfection is overrated much like that $500 bottle you’re going to pay for when you know you could have gone to Costco and bought it for $50. I’m just sayin’.
The holidays make us crave intimacy, family an well…sex. I mean what better way to warm up right? Seriously our bodies want what they want, and during the winter we are inundated with reasons why we should have it all: hubby/wife, big house, career and kids, but some of us are just cool with our Netflix subscriptions, eating cereal for dinner and using our money for everything else in the world besides engagement rings. If you are looking to get engaged or start a relationship during the winter months, take my advice and make sure he knows which vacuum cleaner to buy you for Christmas.
Are you single this holiday season? Share your stories and comments below, and thanks for reading! Happy Holidays xo Jonesie