90 Days on Match: I Should Have Ignored You


Okay kids, here I am three weeks into my 90 Days on Match.com experience, and let me just say that although the only way you can get to know someone is by making contact with them…I sure as hell wish I would not have made any contact with, well…anyone! For those of you that may need a refresher as to how this series on my blog came about, please read my first post and catch up on the goings on. Now let’s get down to the facts. During week 3 on Match my profile was viewed 52 times, I was sent 13 E-mails, and received a few winks. Here’s where it gets a bit dicey…

I worried too much about how I was viewed by the men who e-mailed me. The guys that e-mailed me this week, were men that I had no interest in, and I did not want to come across like a jerk and just ignore them, so I e-mailed them back to “let them down easy”. Ugh…I feel like a total jackass just writing that sentence down. Here’s the thing. I have been ignored by someone before, you know, you text or call them, and they never respond. Or, you go out with them, even sleep with them and never hear form them again. We have all been there, so I did not want to just read their e-mails and delete them without at least responding in some way.

One e-mail was really sweet, the guy told me how beautiful he thought I was, liked my smile etc. and I e-mailed him back basically letting him know I was not interested and wished him luck on his search. He seemed to understand so this was the “I’m not interested” e-mail I sent to everyone. Well, some of them took my response as encouragement instead of how it was intended. This is one of the caveats of online dating…there is no filter, literally, these men say ANY DAMN THING THEY WANT TO. Most of them could care less about you not responding, or responding to let them know you are not interested. There is something thrilling about seeing that little notification next to your inbox and it honestly gives you a feeling of adrenaline, mixed with feeling wanted. Really.

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Still Single? Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Give Up on Love…


There’s something so amazing about having someone in your life that truly understands you, loves you just as you are and is not trying to change you into the version of what they want you to be. Oh, and how awesome is it to have a date for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner? Or someone special to make fun of all of the other couples that are “way into Valentines Day”? Then there’s all of the firsts you have with your special someone: first kiss, first date, first time you say I love you…and we can’t forget the first time right…am I right? Yup, all of those things are beyond wonderful…so if you don’t have those experiences in your life right now, or haven’t had them for four years like myself, does that mean you should just give up on having them? I say no.

Putting yourself out there really sucks sometimes. Yes, I said it…well, wrote it, I mean typed it. You know what I mean you guys! There are ten million different ways to find love: online dating sites, facebook, going to a bar, singles meet-ups, matchmaking services, twitter, instagram etc…and while all of these ways of meeting new people exist, most times actually using them in any form can be intimidating/scary/creepy/uncomfortable. So, what are we supposed to do? Wait around for Mr. or Mrs. Right? Or fearlessly put yourself out there so he or she will be able to find you? I say the latter and here’s why: No one is ever going to find you-or me-while you’re-or me-sitting at home everyday after work/every weekend. Ummm…yes that is my reason. Go with me on this…

Being single is fun. I really mean it I have been single for four years and I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. There is something about being on your own and not having relationship issues to deal with; no fighting, no facebook stalking, no toilet seat being left up, no shaving your legs every damn day. Then there are the times when being single does kind of suck; when I have to take out the trash at midnight because I forgot to do it in the morning and I threw away that lettuce I never ate, and now my apartment smells like a dumpster, and when there is some sort of unidentifiable and gigantic bug crawling on my carpet, and when I have to make three friggin’ trips from my car to my apartment upstairs because I bought a normal amount of groceries! Argh…that groceries thing pisses me off every time.

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How I Learned to Stop Chasing Relationships

 How I Learned to Stop Chasing Relationships
 In the fourth grade I told Ryan that I liked him…Oh man you guys should have seen him, he was a total cutie pie with blondish brown hair and blue eyes. He liked my friend Summer, but I didn’t care I liked him. And he rejected me. This actually made me like him even more. I also tried to be more like Summer because a few of the boys liked her, and I figured I’d get their attention by changing myself to be who they want. This is how the vicious cycle of chasing men and relationships began…Let’s just dedicate this post to Ryan shall we?

By the time I reached junior high things had sort of shifted for me. The boy in school that literally every girl liked…liked me! I really, really, thought I was special because he asked me to be his girlfriend. And yes this made all of the girls hate me, but who cares, I had the most popular guy in the eighth grade as my boyfriend, and I can care less what they thought. One day my eighth grade Adonis came up to me and told me that he didn’t think I looked pretty that day. His words were to the effect of, “I don’t understand how you can look so pretty one day and so….the next…so ugly.”

Yup. After that I made sure I washed my face and brushed my teeth each morning with a vigor I never had before. I had to always have perfect hair and make sure my uniform looked pristine because that would keep his attention on me. None of this worked of course as he later dumped me for a girl who put out…damn me and my eighth grade morals.

 In high school I chased the guys that made it clear they did not want a relationship, but I honestly had no idea I was chasing them. If I liked someone and they did not like me I would do or say things to get their attention. Shawn was a prime example of that. I never went on dates or had even been asked to a dance (cue the violins) until around eleventh grade…this is when my cute factor finally decided to show up in my life, but I digress.
Shawn always acted like he liked me and would call me (this was of course before texting and we all had pagers at this time) and play my favorite songs for me over the phone. Needless to say I fell completely in love. Well, Shawn was a total douchebag that was calling and playing songs for a few girls, but nevertheless I pursued him. He would at times give me no attention, so of course I gave him all of mine.

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