Tag: marriage

Why I Choose to Live My Life Childfree for Now

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 Kids are amazing…the way they see the world, the way they learn, their smiles and laughter melt my heart. I have spent years teaching and babysitting kids, but yet the desire to have one of my own has never surfaced in my psyche. As a young girl we are taught through fairytale stories, television shows, movies etc. that you grow up, get married, and become a mom. Many women feel the essence of becoming a woman is being able to give birth to a child. And, some of us for now or forever, choose to live our lives childfree.

I like shoes, I like to buy them, wear them, and match them up with my moods and outfits. I love to travel, eat out, and get up and go whenever I want. I love to spend my money how I please, spend time with my family and friends, and I love kids, but…here is the kicker…I do not want to have any. I am 32yrs old and have no inkling whatsoever to have a baby. The funny thing is people either do not believe me, tell me I just haven’t found the right person, or think I do not like kids.
Having a child is-from what I’ve seen, and been told-an amazing, painful, exhilarating, loving, heartfelt and challenging moment in a woman’s life that she will literally never forget. Well you know what moments I will never forget? The time I was in Nordstroms and bought my first pair of James Frye boots on sale for $300! Now most people would say I was crazy to compare my shoe buying experiences to having a child, but that moment is a moment I will never forget. And that moment makes me happy.

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The Business of Marriage

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 My parents have been married for 36 years. Just writing that sentence is amazing! But it has not been without their own drama, and times where they felt like giving up and divorcing. But my parents also got married at a time where people had to pick up the telephone and call each other to speak, and cell phones did not exist let alone texting, facebook, myspace, or twitter.
Their generation also had a different mindset, which was that you grow up get a job, get married, and have kids, and in that order. Now you don’t really have to grow up, and can have kids while you’re still a kid and get a reality show out of it, and don’t necessarily have to work a 9-5 to have a career.  I still find myself having the same conversation with all of my friends, and inevitably the question is always asked…Is marriage worth it?

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5 Dating Mistakes I Made Last Year

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 In 2009 I ended a two year-shouldn’t have stayed so long because he was horrible-relationship, so that summer, and following fall was all about having fun with my girls aka: Breaking hearts and taking names! That was then, this is now…In 2011 I made my fair share of “Dating Mistakes” that I will share in hopes that I never make them again. New Year equals a New Me! Here are the five dating mistakes I made last year:

Mistake #1) Making excuses: If he wants you, you will know! When a man wants you he shows you period. Stop making excuses for his absence or lack of attention. I go to school, work full-time, and started my own business this year, but I still make time for someone when I am interested in them. Listen if President Obama can orchestrate date nights with the First Lady then the guy you met at the bar, mall, or Barnes & Noble last week can make time for you. So I will no longer accept or perpetuate lame excuses. If you want me show me.

Mistake #2) Trying to change someone. Never and I mean never try to change someone to fit the mold of what you want or need them to be. If he is telling you from the jump that he does not want to get married, and you know that you do, do not think that you will change his mind about marriage. If he wants kids, and you know you don’t do not try to show him all the benefits of a child-free life to better suit your needs. 


When people change to please others is not a genuine change. You change to improve yourself or your own life which will in turn make you more attractive to others. No trying to change him, either love him the way he is or walk away. 

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Dating Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore

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When you are driving in your car and you see a yellow light in the intersection you are about to cross do you speed up to make it through, or do you slow down because you know the red light is going to flash soon? When you are crossing the street and the crosswalk signal has 5 more seconds to go on the countdown do you dart out in the street making a run for it, or wait because you know you won’t make it across in time and don’t want to risk it? As for myself I wait for the crosswalk and may speed up at the yellow, but if you are that risk taker then this post is for you.

 

Recently my friend got into a relationship with someone very quickly. I put relationship in quotes because I don’t think you can call it a relationship after two weeks, but I digress. She immediately is smitten and spends all of her free time with him, and they even make comments about living together and how they would raise their kids.
In the meantime, he had a girl living with him that he referred to as his ex-girlfriend who is his roommate because she owes him money, and has no family here, and he can’t throw her out on the street.

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The Problem with Dating Bad Boys

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I have heard the following statement come out of mine or my friends mouth, “It’s too hard to meet a good guy.” a million times. So much that I literally would be a millionaire if I got a quarter handed to me every time we said it. But I can’t help but wonder…is it really hard to meet a “Good Guy” or just a hell of a lot easier to meet a bad one. First off lets set the guidelines for what makes someone a “Good Guy” and what makes someone a “Bad Guy”. 

In my opinion a “Good Guy” is a man that is kind, respectful, confident, and there for me when I need him…Okay and yes has a job, his own place, wants to get married and preferably have 2.5 kids! And what constitutes someone being a “Bad Guy”? The bad guy exudes confidence in an obnoxious way, is disrespectful, a liar, cheater and completely undependable.

     
The problem with the Bad Guy, is that this is the man that most of us end up attracted to although we say he is everything we don’t want. Suddenly we meet him and he becomes everything we never knew we wanted! So what he only texts instead of calls…he’s busy right? So what he has not introduced you to his friends or family…he’s just waiting for the right time.