The Problem with Dating Bad Boys


I have heard the following statement come out of mine or my friends mouth, “It’s too hard to meet a good guy.” a million times. So much that I literally would be a millionaire if I got a quarter handed to me every time we said it. But I can’t help but wonder…is it really hard to meet a “Good Guy” or just a hell of a lot easier to meet a bad one. First off lets set the guidelines for what makes someone a “Good Guy” and what makes someone a “Bad Guy”. 

In my opinion a “Good Guy” is a man that is kind, respectful, confident, and there for me when I need him…Okay and yes has a job, his own place, wants to get married and preferably have 2.5 kids! And what constitutes someone being a “Bad Guy”? The bad guy exudes confidence in an obnoxious way, is disrespectful, a liar, cheater and completely undependable.

The problem with the Bad Guy, is that this is the man that most of us end up attracted to although we say he is everything we don’t want. Suddenly we meet him and he becomes everything we never knew we wanted! So what he only texts instead of calls…he’s busy right? So what he has not introduced you to his friends or family…he’s just waiting for the right time. 

 So what he parties with his boys every weekend in the club and comes home drunk, texts you, and asks you to come over…he had obviously been thinking about you all night while he was grinding on those other girls and popping bottles of Champagne and THAT’S why he chose to text you at 3am to come over right? So what he says he never wants to get married and have kids even though you KNOW you do…he will change his mind for you right?
Now don’t get me wrong I don’t think that partying with your boys, only texting and never calling, or not wanting to get married and have kids makes you a bad person. What I am saying is when we as women know all those things are not what we want and we stick around anyway that makes YOU “Bad” for us. The thing is the Bad Guy is charming as hell!
He is dangerous and wrong on so many levels that he becomes sexy, mysterious, and changeable (well this is what we think anyway). If the Bad Guy tells you from the jump that all the aforementioned qualities in paragraph 2 are his then who’s fault is it if you get hurt?  Is it the Bad Guy’s duty to advise you to runaway from him or is it your responsibility to recognize them for exactly who they are and move on? 
Let’s move onto the “Good Guy” for a moment. Why do we think it is so hard to meet them? Where are they? Are all the Good Guys stashed away on some island, or in a basement hanging out watching us all make idiots of ourselves over there counterparts?! Or are they here right in front of our face waiting for us to recognize them and see them for who they truly are? 

 The Good Guy is dependable, kind, there for you when you need him, and the one who will share your life goals and dreams. He is the guy you will not have to question whether he likes you, loves you, or wants you because he will show you, and tell you.
There may be a man in your life who has all those attributes right now, but you are overlooking him because he may not match your perfect physical ideal, or he may not be as rich as you may want him to be, or he may be that friend that has always had your back, but you can’t see him as anything more. What I’m getting at is maybe you are the reason why you’re not meeting any Good Guys.
 Sometimes, we put up these huge walls because we have allowed so many Bad Guys to come into our lives and take us on journeys we NEVER should have been on. Sometimes, we put up walls because we are scared the Good Guy is just a Bad Guy in disguise. Sometimes, we put up walls because we are too scared to let someone get close to us again because that’s exactly what happened with the Bad Guy who broke our heart last year, month, or week. 

 Sometimes, we put up huge walls because on some level we want the drama that the Bad Guy brings because Good Guy has no soap-opera drama in his life so we think he is boring. Sometimes we put up huge walls because we think we have to find this perfect man that is going to fulfill us and love us how we KNOW we are supposed to be loved.
The problem with that is you truly do have to love you and be happy with who you truly are before he will. You have to let go of all the past hurts Bad Guys caused you because all you are doing is preventing Good Guy from capturing your heart. 

 Maybe, we put up walls because we are waiting for the Good Guy who can see past them. The one who will stick around and not run away the minute things get rocky, the one who will truly recognize all you have to offer, the one who will not let you go that easily, the one who will see that the wall you have up has been carefully crafted brick by brick painstakingly made around your heart to protect it.

Have you ever dated a “Bad Boy?” Sound off below in the comment section! Thanks for reading!
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