Here’s what we are not going to do in the New Year: allow toxic people to reside in the mental, physical and emotional sacred spaces of our lives. We are letting them all go. Yes, all of them. They are not going to change, we cannot fix them-nor is it our duty to-and they do not deserve to hold a place in psyche any longer.
Letting go of toxic people can be extremely easy or incredibly hard. I find there are the two extremes and really not much wiggle room in-between them. I am the former. Excluding toxic people from my narrative has become so damn easy the older, wiser, and more impatient to bullshit I become.
This year I dealt with extreme narcissism, sexism, and backstabbing. It was incredible! In this particular situation, I worked with these people and had stay in it until my committed time came to an end. After I separated myself I then became the subject of their attacks. It fazed me for a minute then I realized just how sad, insecure, and hateful they have to feel about themselves and their lives to behave so toxic.
*NOTE: Sometimes we are the toxic people in a situation, and its important to recognize that and not place all blame on others if need be.
Now, in the year of our lord and savior, sweet baby Jesus…we are NOT allowing toxic people and their bullshit to prosper in our lives. Cut them off and let them go. Stop trying to change them. If they are important to you, inform them of the ways in which their behavior has become toxic and then move on. No one will change for you. I know that’s a common belief but its not true. We change for ourselves. It is possible to be inspired to change by others, but inherently its an act we do for ourselves.
If you do find yourself changing for someone else, than take a moment to ask yourself why you are doing this, and if it’s just to make them happy or stay in a relationship with you. Those are not the best reasons. Change your attitude, reactions, beliefs etc. to make you a better person, which will radiate into all aspects of your life.
For now, learn to recognize the traits of a toxic person and as we head into the New year…leave their asses in 2018. Toxic traits include: narcissistic behavior, constantly putting others down, blaming everyone else for the problems in their life, no accountability for their mistakes, manipulating you when you speak out against their behaviors/tell them how you feel, and generally if you feel as though you cannot be yourself, or that they leave you feeling as though you’re never good enough…wave goodbye to them.
Please know the you deserve to be loved, respected and treated with kindness. More importantly, make sure you’re treating yourself with love, respect and kindness, and cut toxic people out of your life. Everyone is not meant to be in our lives forever and that’s okay; some float in to teach us lessons, keep us company, help us through difficult times, love us for a while and move on. It’s almost 2019 and the energy for this upcoming year is, ‘I deserve love kindness and respect. If you cannot keep that same energy then you don’t deserve me.”
Happy New Year 🎉
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