We are told we can be anything, do anything and can have it all if we just try hard enough, but what if trying hard enough still isn’t enough? What do you do when you have given it your all and still cannot achieve the dream and goals you have set for yourself? We’ve all been there. Life is kicking you in the ass and you’re worried about making rent this month, or wondering how you’re going to pay your student loan payment and still have money for groceries. Or you’re not getting auditions, job interviews, making enough money etc. It seems like everything you try you fail at, or it ends up going left when you’re desperately trying to go right. Is there ever a time when you should just say, fu*k it, and give up…maybe, but here are four reasons why you shouldn’t.
1) Failing Does Not Make You a Failure: You know how may times you are going to fail? Way more than you are going to succeed. If I took the time to run down my list of failures, you’d wonder why the hell I keep trying! I used to literally tell myself and my parents that I was a failure. Always verbalizing that every attempt I have made at accomplishing a goal ended miserably. You are not a failure, but you will fail at some things in life. Failure is an event, not a personality trait. You failed at something…YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. Keep going and realize that failure is necessary. If I had succeeded at any of the other career attempts I set for myself (out of fear) then I would not be a writer/actor. Sometimes we need to fail to point us in the right direction.
2) You Can Try Harder: You may think you’re trying hard enough, but you’re not. How many times have you decided to go out instead of stay home and work on your craft. What about all of the hours you spend on social media instead of building your business. I am guilty of procrastination every now and then, so I took action by cancelling my cable, forming consistent habits, and listening to motivational speakers every morning on my drive to work. What can you do to reroute your focus, and are you really doing every single thing you can to accomplish your dreams? There are many different ways you can try to fulfill your dreams.
As a writer/actor I auditioned time after time and got nowhere, so I changed my approach. No one would give me a chance and I created my own: wrote a webseries, filmed it, did hair/makeup/wardrobe/editing/lighting…literally everything for it myself because I could not afford to hire anyone to help me!
Doing that taught me what I was doing wrong and right. It also gave me confidence in my capabilities, so I soldiered on and started reading pilot scripts, and screenplays for free online. I also asked people I knew in the business questions and advice, which lead to me writing two television pilots and screenplays. Now, I have an upcoming meeting with a network for one of my pilot scripts: There is more than one way to reach your goals. Do not stop just because the ways in which you’ve already tried have not worked. Find new ways.
3) Your Regrets Will Haunt You: The last thing you ever want to feel in your life is the regret over chances not taken. Most of us don’t take these chances out of fear or insecurity (which is breed from fear), and it will affect you for the rest of your life. Once, I was on set of a film and sitting with the director who offered to help me get enough vouchers to join SAG, and I didn’t follow up on his offer because I was insanely insecure about reaching out, and I can see my younger self sitting in that chair as I type this.
There was also someone on set who I truly thought was a real friend that I allowed to block my blessing. Lesson learned the hard way. We have all made decisions out of insecurity, fear and/or a need for approval from others, and instead of dwelling on our mistakes let’s collectively decide not to repeat them.
4) You Are Deserving of Success: Focus on what you want and how it can be achieved. We have all made mistakes along the way, but life is forgiving, and you should be too. What do you need to change about yourself so you can create the life you want? Want to write…then read books by successful authors, take notes, and write. Want to be an actor…watch vintage films, take acting classes and record yourself on film. Want to own your own business…follow entrepreneurs online, watch their TedTalks and start small by selling items on eBay. Whatever it is, JUST DO IT NOW.
There will never be enough money, a perfect time, or an ideal situation where everything works out the exact way you want it to. Instead of giving up try rerouting your course, reach out for help, or do it your damn self, and stop looking for approval from everyone else. You have to be your own cheerleader, learn to sacrifice, work harder, stop procrastinating and make no more excuses. We can all win if we approach our goals the way we approach taking the perfect selfie; take one million shots until we get it just right.
What are you doing to create the life that you want? And, what goals are you trying to achieve this year? Sound off in the comment section below!
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