Sometimes being single friggin’ sucks. Before you roll your eyes at me, let me also state that if you are a regular reader of my blog you know that I in no way feel you need a man to complete you, be happy or live a fulfilled life…I have been happily single for over four years now and have written over 50 blog post demonstrating that. Now with that dtisclaimer being said…well typed…let me also state that there are definite times when being single does in fact suck:
1) When my 82 year old Grandmother tells me to use up my eggs before they dry up: Yup, this happened, in a store, in public, because when you’re 82, you can literally say anything you want and get away with it. It happened like this:
Nanny: “You better use those eggs up before they dry up.”
Here’s why this sucks:
A) Who wants to disappoint their grandma?
B) I’m 33 years old and yes, my eggs are drying up.
C) I am literally in no rush to be married or have kids
D) There is no D actually, I just like even numbers.
Okay, so yes I am single, I am not in a rush to be married nor am I purposely looking for a man to procreate with. This is an instance when being single sucks, because I do think about the fact that both of my grandmothers are up in age, and if I were to find someone to spend my life with, I would like both of them to be here for it.
Taking care of myself is not the issue, and luckily I have amazing parents who have dropped off medicine, juice and check up on me when I am sick (blessed beyond measure with those two), its the fact that I have to do it all…by my damn self. Once, just once, I’d like someone to make my soup for me, go to the pharmacy and pick up my medication for me, pour my glass of juice, and drive me to urgent care. Do you know how hard it is to drive yourself to urgent care when you have bronchitis, pulled muscles from coughing so hard because of the bronchitis, with pneumonia, on top of asthma? Well I do because that just happened to me! Damn, that is a time when being single surely sucked, like sucked really, really, hard.
3) Carrying groceries into my apartment: Now I have stated the disdain I have for this in previous posts, but let me just touch on this subject in detail. I cook 80% of everything I eat, therefore when I buy groceries I am buying a great deal of groceries. Sometimes, when I go in for one or two things I think of a recipe I can make and end up buying more at the time. Don’t even get me started on a trip to Target…you know what, I am going to get started on what happens at Target. I buy a particular bread that is literally, only sold at Target.
Now I know I am not the only one who walks into Target for one item and ends up with a conveyor belt full of crap you don’t even need…right? It has happened to the best of us. Needless to say there are shopping trips whether they be for groceries, hair supplies, or random items from Target I never needed in the first damn place, I have to carry all of that crap into my apartment myself. Here’s why this sucks, because parking for my apartment is not super close to the entrance of my building.
Also, because I live upstairs. How about when it’s 10:00pm at night and there’s a creepy guy walking down the street and you have two arm fulls of bags and you get scared? What am I going to fight him with? Bread, those cheap pair of sweats I bought? Or maybe that deodorant stick I found on sale. I would love to be able to call my boo and have him come downstairs and around the corner to help me carry all of these bags in, or open the door to my building so I don’t struggle, or meet me downstairs at 10pm so I don’t feel so scared of Mr. Creepy.
4) When that new scary movie comes out: I am a horror movie enthusiast. As a kid my mom and I watched every scary movie or television show that would come on. Seriously, I was the only kid at school who watched Tales From the Crypt, The Alfred Hitchcock Hour and The Twilight Zone. Every Friday my family and I would go to the video store and rent tapes, that’s VHS to you young bucks, maybe you need to Google it. Anyway, my brother, sister and Dad would all pick out comedies and cartoons, but my Mom and I would pick out all of the horror films. We’d have to watch them after they all went to sleep because they were so scared!
Every time a new scary movie comes out I try and find someone to go and see it with me, but no one will go. My mom hates the theater, she thinks it’s to loud and does not like the crowds. Basically my horror partner has deserted me unless I watch the movies at my parents house with her. I know I can just go to the movies by myself, but there is something about horror films that make you want to go with someone right? It’s kind of like when you go to the Halloween mazes or fright nights, it makes it even more fun when you have someone to grab onto to when you’re scared. Listen I watch ghost stories and scary movies by myself a lot, but I would not mind having some nice sexy arms around me when I jump from fright. Judge me.
5) When I see an elderly couple together: Here’s the thing, like I have not only in this post, but posts past, being a married woman and having kids is not something I aspire to. I am fulfilled spiritually and emotionally, and having someone to spend my life with is just a bonus. Meaning that yes I am independent, I am making my dreams come true, I take care of myself financially and have family and friends…but having a man to share all of this with would be absolutely wonderful.
Having a partner to share in my success, have Sunday dinner with my parents, meet my Grandmother’s and sister…that’s the icing on the cake for me. For me it’s about having the type of love that you can’t necessarily receive from your family and friends. Your family can of course love and support you, but romantic love and partnership are totally different as we all know. As I approach my 34th birthday this is something I have been thinking a lot about. I feel I am now ready to share my life with someone and not because I feel I need a man, but because I am truly excited to give my heart to someone. When I see an elderly couple together holding hands, or laughing, etc. it definitely makes me feel hopeful for my future.
I can definitely relate to this list. I was with my ex for almost 8 years and we lived together for 6 of those years. Specifically related to #3… my ex and I had a routine — I would grocery shop then call him when I was about 4 minutes from our apartment. He would be waiting when I got home to help carry the groceries and then put away most of them. When I finally started living alone again and went grocery shopping (and I agree, let's not even get started on Target), I came home and was all, wait, what? I have to carry this shit myself?
Good article!
Thank you so much!
Right!!!! Seriously it kills you sometimes…especially when you've purchased enough to have to make two trips back down the darn stairs and to you car again…at night…by yourself! lol
Great post! All of these things can be especially crappy after a breakup. I've gotten “You better think about having kids soon. Who's going to take care of you when you get old” recently. I was completely floored!
Right! What is it with that comment…some girl told me I was weird when I said having kids is not an absolute must for me. How about instead of forcing kids on us, we take care of our highly capable selves! Thank you so much for reading and commenting!
I had one kid, and I had him at the age of 18 when my eggs were very fresh. Yes it was an accident, but one that I don't regret. Now he is the one who brings me juice and takes me to urgent care. I've been single for 4+ years now and while I do miss the companionship, I can live without the drama and the constantly having to worry about someone else's needs to the detriment of my own. There's also nothing wrong with not wanting children. It's not written in stone (well maybe it is, somewhere) that women must get married and procreate. Do you, and the rest will follow… even if the rest is not what everyone else wanted.
Completely agree with you…I also love your closing sentence, its really good advice and I'm thankful to receive it. Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂
I'm all the way with you on #3 & #4! I live on the top level (three stories high), and I hate lugging groceries up those stairs by myself, lol. Also, I frequently see scary movies alone, but it's way better when there's someone special to hold on to.
See…you understand my single struggle! How do you combat the sometimes “Single Blues”?
Thanks so much for reading and commenting!