My friends and I have come across an epidemic lately: Men who believe that we are desperate to have them as our boyfriends. Listen I am not bashing love or being in love, I am all for love, and think that when you find someone amazing you should not pass them by. As of recent events in my life I have come to find that there is a way of thinking when it comes to women and what they want from men.
PSA: Guys not every woman is desperate to have you as their man. Just because we are dating does not mean we are secretly planning our future wedding date in our heads. Women like to have fun with no commitments too sometimes, and if we wanted you to be our boyfriend…trust me you’d know. Now that I got that public service announcement out of the way let’s get down to business.
Recently, I was dating someone who told me that he felt I wanted something serious and he didn’t so he broke things off. Ummm…excuse me since when did it become okay for you to decide you know what I want, and then tell me what I want, and then tell me that you can’t date me because of the assumption you have made about what I want?!
My girlfriend today responded to my text updates on the situation simply with, ‘Guys just do that.’ Really guys? You just do that? You automatically assume every woman you date is madly in love with you and immediately wants something serious?
Here is my issue: why are women always considered emotionally unstable or the ones who ALWAYS want to be serious just because we like you? Why can’t we just like you, and have fun, and let things lead to whatever it will lead to…why do we always catch such a bad rap when it comes to relationships?
And why is it that men are always expected to not want anything serious? It seems as though it is always okay for them to back away from all things relationship related, because we women are always trying to “push” them into one.
There is a consensus among men that women are not able to disassociate their emotions from sex, and that if we have sex with you then we will automatically fall in love with you.
I don’t know about you ladies, but it takes way more then sex to make me fall in love with you. Truth be told I have only professed my love to one man and it took a lot to get me to that point, but being in love and wanting someone in your life permanently in anyway takes so much more than sex and a few movie dates.
So, guys please just relax and stop assuming you know what we want. Lets try a new approach and have you actually ask us what we want, or talk to us about your concerns over what you think we want. Most times your assumptions are wrong, you end up walking away from someone, and losing out on an amazing woman.