Let’s Talk About Sex: You know that moment when you’re making out, touching, kissing, and that amazing feeling of warmth travels through your entire body? This is it…the moment you know you are going to have sex, and you cannot wait to pull out all of your best moves on us right fellas? And we want these moves because we have thought about this moment with you since the day we met you. Oh yes women think about sex just as much as you do and we know within the first ten, hell I’m being nice, more like 5 minutes whether or not we are going to ever have sex with you. So you’ve clearly made it past the first ten minutes, or ten dates and now here it is, the moment we both have wanted since we first met…and then…this happens:
We are minutes into our pre-sex make out session and touching each other all over, and this is usually a clear signal for you to touch us in our most intimate spot. Women love this, we love to be caressed and teased, which turns us on and makes us want you even more then we already do.
So…why the hell do you get down there and start banging the hell out of our vagina like we are your PlayStation’s remote controller? This is not Madden 13 and you are not Peyton Manning dude. Calm the hell down and stop touching us with the force you use to control your favorite video game character. And I am not exaggerating here when I say some of you need to truly learn the Art of Touch. As one of my girls put in: “He fingers you like, well, like a man, so you don’t like it (or him when he does it). Boo.” (Thanks Skye) Think of our vagina and especially our clitoris as a soft kitten, a baby kitten that needs to be touched, caressed and shown care.
And let me also say that at this point in all of our lives we should all know the parts of our anatomy as well as our partners. Men, you may need to Google clitoris and G-spot because a lot of you think you know what/where they are but you don’t. Ladies, you need to also practice on yourselves to find your G-spot. Yes, I said it..well, typed it, but you get my drift. That leads me to my next point: Ladies we are also to blame in this tragedy of fingers…this debacle of foreplay, this…okay I’ll stop, but we have to lead, guide, and teach. Meaning lead him by telling him what you like and want. Guide him by placing your hand on top of his and moving him at the speed, depth, and firmness that you like. And learn by masturbating and knowing what you like, and what you need to achieve orgasm.
Now, can I just touch on the topic of Porn and Jack-Rabbit Sex…Yes the two go hand in hand (pun intended), because a lot of you out there in the real world look to porn for inspiration. Let me preface this next topic by saying that I am in no way bashing porn. What I am going to say is that the woman in porn films are paid to behave that way. Let that just sink in for a second guys. Please stop expecting us to perform in that manner because you know what…you’re not performing up to those standards either! Just as the women are being paid to like what is happening to them, so are the men, and we get that, but do you? And Jack-Rabbit sex aka The Pound-Pound-Pound is to be used in cases of a quickie only fellas. Only!
The whole freak-in-the-sheets analogy is fine and dandy, but just know that we want to give you all of us and explore our sexuality with you, but give us and our relationship time to get there. Trust, communication, fidelity, time put into the relationship etc. all factor into how far we are willing to go sexually with you. And guys, we are not looking for rose pedals and candles with every experience but we are looking to have our needs met just as much as you are. So be patient and also communicate your needs and listen as we tell you ours. And another thing, how dare you ask for oral without giving it…it’s all about equality baby and you have to give to receive. I actually dated a guy who did not give oral…like ever…at all…He lasted one month.
I polled my twitter followers & my girlfriends and these were the girls favorite things:
Slow kisses, deep kisses, soft touches, firm caresses, tracing our faces with your hands or fingers, slowly removing our clothes (quickies are the exception to this rule), looking into our eyes, telling us what you want, guiding us, asking us what we want, letting us guide you, and smelling wonderful. I would like to also throw in that you use a washcloth when showering not your hands, because hands don’t remove built up dirt. And that you trim your toenails and use lotion on your skin, because you’d hate to touch our dry/crusty skin, so don’t make us do it!
What love and sex lessons have you learned? Sound off in the comments section below!
Thanks for reading xo Jonesie
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hey! I nominated you for an award. Read about it here: http://lovebaileys.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/soooo-sweet.html
How fabulous is that?!!! Thank you so much love I feel honored to be nominated! xoxo CJ aka Awkward Girl!
This might be the best single column of lovemaking advice I've seen in quite a while. Everything seems right on the spot to me. 🙂 And I am long past my 20s (and 30s), so I know a few things, I've done it all wrong and done it all right. And right is much better for both of you. Men need to SLOW DOWN, enjoy the journey, take your woman to a very special “place” and keep your focus on her pleasure. Your time will come, guys. Be patient. Knock your lady's socks off, make her climb the wall (if you can), and stick around after you're done. NEVER leave a woman after lovemaking. Big mistake! As Jonesie says, ignore porn films. They are the action hero movies of sex; that's not how it happens in the real world. Make LOVE to your woman. Everything else will take care of itself, I promise. Old Dog