That Ex that Won’t Go Away

Exes are like boomerangs, every time you got over them, they return. It’s like they all have this weird telepathy and can sense when you are happy and ready to move on. They sniff around you innocently at first, just as you begin anew with someone else…Boomerangs (that’s what we will forever be referring to them as, okay?) work in stages:

Stage (1) Internet Ploys: One day you are scrolling through pages on the Internet, say for instance you are looking to buy that killer pair of shoes you’ve had your eyes on for a few weeks, then while looking an ad pops up asking you to ‘click here’ to receive an additional 20% off your purchase! You are stoked, so of course you click on it and what happens? A virus downloads to your computer. That’s what your Boomerang does to you when he/she sniffs you moving on with someone new. They try and breakdown your new found joy.

Stage (2) Texting Rouses: The texting rouse is an oldie, but goodie in the Boomerang circle. Remember that time when you were little, and pretended to be sick for attention? That’s the type of technique the Boomerang is employing here…They love to text you to a) see if you have erased their number or not, b) to bait you into responding, c) to test how quickly you will respond to them, and d) to see if you’ll still have sex with them (let’s just be real here folks)

Stage (3) Emotional Play: This is the most crucial tactic a Boomerang will use as their weapon of choice. Am I the only one who stays up late, and always sees the ASPCA commercial with Sarah McLaughlin singing, ‘In the arms of the angels’, while a three-legged dog has a talk bubble over their head asking, “Why did they beat me?”, and you feel like crap because all you want to do is immediately change the channel as soon as you hear the music…Well, your Boomerang is using this technique on you, and you have just entered phase three. Phase three is the most serious of stages because emotional play also involves psychological warfare…

Has your ex ever “just called” to see how you were doing? I immediately think, ‘What the hell dude…you never called me to just see how I was doing when we were together…as a matter of fact all you ever did was text me one-word replies, and now you care about how I’m doing?’ But I digress…Or what about the Happy Birthday phone call, or the I just wanted to gain closure call… Okay, wait, don’t think I am an insensitive jerk, because I understand that in some way or another most of us can recover from a break-up in a better fashion if we had the “closure conversation”. My issue is when you receive that call over one year later! Oh, Oh, Oh, I get it, when I needed closure you ignored my calls/texts, or just gave me the one word reply, but now that YOU need closure, we must meet up at our old fave restaurant so YOU can work out your issues? Got it.

My friend went through a break-up six months ago, but has stayed in constant contact with his ex girlfriend. They call/text each other, and almost every single time it hurts him just a little bit more. She cries, she points out all the reasons why she broke up with him, she also always states all the reasons why they can’t get back together, and then dropped a bomb on him one week ago via text message…

My Friend: Hey do you want to hang out today?
Ms. Boomerang: No, I’m moving to New York.

What the hell kind of crap is that? These two dated for five years, and that’s the way she decides to tell him she is moving over 3,000 miles away? She had no problems constantly reminding him why she did not want to be with him, but when it came to an actual important fact, she does it in an immature manner. Needless to say he was hurt. Cut to a few days later when of course here she is calling him to state her reasons why he sucks again-and he always gets baited into these guilt laden conversations with her because clearly they both still have unresolved feelings-and she informs him that she is moving to New York because she needs to get away from him, begins to cry and ends the call.

Seriously Ms. Boomerang, that’s how you’re going to play this? Guilt him for a decision you one-thousand percent made on your own? Unless a man is stalking you, threatening you, or has caused you harm, (which he has not/would never do) then you moving to another state is not because of him! You know how you can get away from your ex? Stop calling and texting him, just a thought.

It’s not all her fault or all of our exes faults either right? They are returning in our lives for whatever reasons they may have, but ultimately it is our choice whether or not we’ll allow someone back into our heart. It can be very hard to distance yourself from an ex, and there is always this need, to try and be friends with them. I am on friendly terms with my ex boyfriends, but talking/texting with them often was an activity I had to put a stop to. Here’s how I see it…your ex is an ex for a reason.

Think about those reasons…did they cheat, lie, disrespect you, hurt you (God forbid) physically, or were there not there for you emotionally? Have you tried working through your issues and saving your relationship? And if so did you end up back at square one, or even more hurt then you were to begin with? Do you really want this person back in your life, or do you just miss the feeling of having someone in your life?

These are questions that I had to ask myself, and maybe you should consider before going back down that emotional road with your ex. Also, consider the amount of energy you are putting into this person…you are expelling all of your emotion to the person who probably doesn’t deserve to have it in the first place. How then came someone new, beautiful and amazing come into your life? Use that energy to work on yourself and what you can do differently or have learned from your ex and the relationship. Then your heart will be open to receive love. Not all Boomerangs are meant to come back.

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0 thoughts on “That Ex that Won’t Go Away

  1. BernieLand says:

    I just found your blog and I really like it:-)Anyway, I totally agree with you on this particular subject despite I'm “Ms Boomerang”.

    I have great relationship with my exes, we are all friends but one of them is always going to be imortant in my life but not as a man, but a person. He's my favourite human being ever and I don't want his love (I'm happily married) but I love talking to him, fooling around, and I love having endless conversations about the world with him.

    He have no friends nor girlfriends and sometimes I feel that I should save him (he have some addictions)

    Some people never meant to be, but they still going to be in each other life's because they are connected. Anyway, I will vote for you right here, right now as I think you deserve to win:-) I'm a finalist in the “Most Likely Piss People Off “category (what else?:-)) and my blog name is BernieLand. Yes, its me on the picture, but photoshopped:-)

  2. AnnaCris says:

    Love this one. This reminds me of my friend who is forever telling me that “they always come back”…. I always say no not this one, but she's been right so far. Now you've convinced me lol ;). Here's hoping the recent ex is not a boomerang! 🙂

  3. Divorced Kat says:

    Every guy I've dated, no matter how briefly, since I got divorced has done this. It's annoying. I'm usually good at ignoring or doing the one-word answer, but it's tough when it's someone you wish it had worked with! I'm big on deleting guys from my phone so I don't boomerang them.

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