Dating sucks. Okay, that was a harsh opener. Dating is a mix of emotions; nervousness, excitement, joy and awkwardness. When you like someone, your brain produces endorphins which trigger an actual physical and emotional response in your body. This is what causes the “butterflies in your stomach” feeling every time you are near your crush, and it feels damn good.
Having someone in your life feels like you’ve eaten pizza, ice cream, chocolate, and the best red wine you can find all at once, and not gained a pound at all afterward. It’s a feeling of intimacy that we all deserve to experience, but since dating can be so complicated, how do we know if our “situation” is leading towards something more…a relationship. Here is my list-because you all know I am a complete genius on the subject-of five signs that he (or she) are never, ever, like ever, going to take things to the next level with you…ever:
1) He Only Texts You:Ugh…you guys, texting is the bane of my existence. Remember when a guy liked you and actually picked up the phone to call you? I remember a boy calling me in the sixth grade, this was circa 1990, and I was so excited that I literally screamed. Then, we had pagers and you would send someone a numerical page, okay let me explain for all you youngsters who have no idea what I am referring to because you’ve grown up in the cell phone only days: Pagers were dope. Pagers were so fly and we all had one-mine was purple-and came up with words you could create using numbers, and certain number combinations meant different things. If someone texted you the combo 143 it meant I love you. Guys called you because they had to! They couldn’t send a text.
In high school a guy had a crush on me and wrote me letters almost weekly for an entire school year. Now, you have no idea what a guys handwriting even looks like. If you had to pick him out of a line-up based on his handwriting alone…you’d be screwed. You’d be all, ‘I’m sorry detective I have no idea who this handwriting belongs to. Can you have him send me a text?’ Now, all we get are bathroom selfies with the toilet seat in the background.
If he sets up all your “dates” through text, has not picked up the phone once to call you, and every text session escalates quickly into sexting, then you my friend, are not going to be his girlfriend. Listen, I do not think you have to have hour long, daily phone conversations to establish a relationship, but I know that texting takes absolutely no effort. Picking up the phone, hearing someone’s voice and establishing an actual intimate connection does.